Steer Me into Something Deeper

Starting off in such a place, feeling everything that rubs the wrong way. Disconnection and dissonance in me. Starting off with it all wrong, with everything turned backwards. Dissonance in me, dissonance in me. 

Did you ever feel fine? It seems so long ago. Can't remember such a moment in time. Maybe it didn't happen in time? Maybe. 

Hidden the darkness, you say, is liberation. But first, facing the darkness is feeling crucifying pain. I know what I have to lose, it's my lovely protection. It's what has gotten me through, and what helped me survive constant rejection. Constant dislike and dissonance with who I am. Constant dissonance.

You saw everything. You started counting right at the start. You have been recording every sound, every signal that comes from my heart.

You know where this is going, if not exactly how it unfolds. I'm asking for your help now, is that clear?

I need someone to guide and to steer me out of the dark, out of rocky shoals and into something deeper, that I won't break my heart on. Something deeper.