I Can't Remember Why We Parted, I Only Know I Want You Back

Thumbnail image is a detail from a drawing by Kathy Kwon.

I’ve become a little too tight about this, I’ve become a little too tight in my grip. You know I just want to be with you. You know I just want to be unfolding out of you.

You know I feel the artifice like a painfully clenched fist. I am so tired of this - of feeling trapped like a fish in the silver nets of pain, and different kinds of chains.

I miss you with all my heart. I’m not the same as a shard. I don’t like being apart. I don’t like being a part without the whole.

We knew each other way back when. When light moved easily through us. When light moved easily through the body of the earth and we moved easily through it too. When we were warm and radiant beings, and love was warm and radiant beams. And our eyes were eye to eye.

You know I’m tired of living like this. I say the same thing every day. My whole body’s like a fist, clenched into a shape that says I’m not safe in this world. Why would I be? I’m not safe in this world, it’s not my world. Not the world I remember. It’s not the way I remember it.

You are close by, I can feel you. You are close by and I know you’re real. You are close by and I can feel you, and I know how real you are. I know you’re real.

But I still miss you on the daily. And I miss a sense of safety. And I’m here pushing daisies, feels like. Just basically dead in my heart. Basically dead in my feelings. Basically sad about the world. Basically broken in my healings. Basically unknown to this place.

I can’t remember what was started, just how my feeling went black. I can’t remember why we parted, I only know I want you back.

I can’t remember why parted, I only know I want you back.