Sinking Ship

If I start from here, this is my chance to say what’s been pressing on my chest.

No rush, no rush. We sense your terrible grief, that’s below somewhere deep and yet out of reach. We know the depth in you perturbs you. And the reach in you disturbs you. Take your time to get down to the bottom. There is no pressure to go anywhere. If you take your time you’ll find it’s very natural. It’s the thing that’s there when you’re not moving away from it. It’s the thing that’s there when you stop moving.

You know I’m not inclined to sink anymore time. I’m scared to find out how much more dark there is. You would have thought that I’m so dark I don’t really really have attachment to the idea of a good world, but that’s wrong. You see, I’ve been believing all along that maybe it was me. There's some kind of hope in that, no matter how sad. What does it feel like to find out I’m right? What would it mean if I am right among people who disagree? I kind wanted them to be right, not me. Yes, I wanted them to be right, not me.

Because…holy shit. If I’m not wrong about it, then we’re in a sinking ship.

What does it mean, we’re in a sinking ship? Does it mean you’re giving up on all of us?

No it just means I’m joining the water with you. It just means I’ll stop trying to find a way away. It just means I’ll let myself get wet. Into the waters you’ve been in this whole time. Holy shit. It’s a sinking ship. Holy shit.