Dragonsong

Thumbnail image lovingly appropriated from Wild Swans, by Hans Christian Andersen, translated by Naomi Lewis, and illustrated by Anne Yvonne Gilbert 

The problem with this is that I don’t know how to get out of it. Even though I know that all those tight places are dead to me now. Still I’m scared to be out here in the open. Still scared to be sad, bowled over by grief. It’s almost like it would be a relief, if I could just cry it all out once and for all, and be forever done with it.

How can I move from these steps, my feet are glued to the ground. Looking out on your body, planetary bodies. With new lights, new dawns, new lights shining softly, new winds mussing the grass, mussing your hair and mussing mine. New dawns breaking, softly breaking up the dark. Coming in so soft.

Is there any way to know? I have a feeling about this, that there’s no way to get out, without making a mess. Still I can try to get out.

What did I discover this time, what did I discover this time? With my foray into the wild, did I find some flowers that I can eat? Did I find some flowers that I can weave to keep me company by my bedside? Little bits of beauty? What did I find in my foray into the wild, in my forging into the wild?

This is the most interesting space I’ve been in all day, I will admit.

Things have been bound up too tight, way too tight, for a long time. Like my arms have been strapped to my body and my wings have been bound. I’ve been unable to grow into my true form. Not to grow out into the one, that nature formed me as. And yes, my bones hurt as I shake them out in the wind.

But I’m happy to have the chance to be so big again. I’m happy to have the chance to be so big again.

I know there’s patterns in everything that you breathe out into our world. I don’t need to do much more than just to let you breathe me out too. I don’t need to do. All the doing is done by you.

You can give yourself the space to unfurl, as long as you know we love you, starry girl. As long as you feel our hug for you, beautiful daughter. As long as you feel our stars in your beautiful waters. As long as you feel our lights moving through your blades of grass. As long as you feel our codes arriving to you, at last. As long you feel our movement, our aliveness in you darling, you really can’t go wrong. Not in this or any other of your songs. Not in this or any other cosmic song.

You are the light-sounds, you are the streaming banners. You are the dragons landing in this world.