Deathwork

February 2021 lionsong. Thumbnail from the National Tile Museum in Lisbon.

You want to know about the choices that you made, dear soul. You want us to open up the record book? We will, and show.

You want to know why you can’t let go. It’s because the parts that are feeling it still need to be found and unbound.

You don’t want to leave until you’ve found the parts within you that they’re torturing in the parallels. So even though it feels like hells, you hear the voices, you hear the children, you hear your own ones, you hear the ones who need your love, behind those walls.

Sorry to be gruesome, but we want to do something with you and we don’t have the time to leave you deaf and blind. You’re not as deaf and blind as you once were, dear love. You’ve been making good time.  

You want to know the gory details. You are seeing them in your sleep. And in your waking hours, you feel the grief of what needs to move through you, what needs to be released. Released back to our breast, released along with the rest. So these ones can finally rest in the arms of their mother, so they can rest in the arms of their mother. Every one of your sisters, every one of your brothers, belongs in the arms of their mother. Belongs in our loving arms.

That’s what you’re doing down there. That’s what you’re doing at night.

In the days we try to make you happy. We try to send you light. We try to let you live a life that’s something like a nice life. Because you need your big heart to face what you’re seeing at night.

We know you’re ready to be told. This is something that you already know. You just weren’t sure. You needed it to be said, to hear it said once more. To hear it said so clear.

What you’re doing down there, darling, is death work. You are finding pieces of dead bodies. You are digging through the rubble. Surrounded by your krystal bubble.

Yes, you know we’re right there by your side. Yes, you feel us with you darling. We’re right by your side. But as for why you feel so sad, this is why. As for all those many days that you need to cry, as for all those times when you want to die, dear darling, this is why. This is why.