It's all you've longed for

Thumbnail image lovingly appropriated from Last Night by Hyewon Yum

I’ve been trying too hard, once again. Making the stakes so high. I’ve lost my chance to mess it up. Where does this tightness get me? All tied up.

There was nothing wrong with the original song. The strings got all tied up. Things got all mixed up.

Now it’s time to release. It’s time for earthly peace. It’s time for the great relief. It’s time for the barrier reef. It’s time for new leaves.

Where is the point of interest? I’ve been trying too hard to paint a portrait of you. I’ve been pushing and managing and controlling again. The tape is rolling again. The ocean is rolling again. Am I down there on the bottom of the floor down low inside, down low and inside?

I acknowledge the part of me, anxious swimmer. On the surface of the sea, trying to take it all in, in her little mask. When everything causes a deep gasp. Not just on the islands where the foxes eat fruit. Not just on the shorelines where the algae makes fruit. Not just on the night hike where the moon likes like a fruit. But also underwater like the sound of flute. Also underwater with high clacking sounds like a wooden flute.

What am I pushing? I’m so tired of tired of pushing, and that it’s so hard to let go. I realize I am lost. I realize I am lost without you. Moving in spaces unknown to me. I don’t know where space is known to me anymore.

Is it a comfort to come back? Only you can answer that. What is the point of answering pat? You know there is no answer to that. You know there is no single stroke. You know there is no single note. You know there is no single line to be wrote. You know there is no boat to make it across once and for all. You know that you must fall and feel yourself unbinding. Feel your cords unwinding.

But you have served me long and well dear love. As you go down, as I watch your crown, slip under the surface of the waters you have loved. I know you’re happier than you’ve ever been.

It’s all you’ve longed for and worked for your whole life my love.