Ego Art

One part related to the ego that I have been working with for a while is someone I refer to as Ego Pimp.

EP involves himself in packaging, promoting and presenting me. He wants to shape other people's opinions of me, primarily through showing a distorted, inauthentic, static version of me to the world for the specific purpose of getting approval.

He is threatened by those aspects of me that don't support the brand he is trying to present me as, and drives me, when he gets ahold of the wheel, towards whatever he thinks will deceive people into thinking that I am a propped up, pre-programmed, highly controlled version of me and none of the stuff he edits out. 

The brand EP usually prefers for me is something like "Tortured Artist Mystique", embarrassingly enough. Another identity is "I’m Just Here to Help” (a fake healer front) and there are some other slides that get thrown into the carousel depending on group dynamics and the needs of the occasion. Like all egos, EP takes bits of authenticity, bits of truth, and then twists it into something inauthentic which serves his purposes.

EP works together with Destroyer Critic, (a thuggy guy who uses shame to stamp out anything unwanted by society) and Taskmaster, (a time bully who uses fear to control me).

I wrote this song, Producer, about Ego Pimp.

Ego Pimp hopes it makes you think I'm pretty talented at producing for a mere beginner. Destroyer Critic wants me to make sure you know, that I know, that I am nothing. Taskmaster says Holly quit resting on your laurels, you lump, you wrote that song years ago. 

The rest of me hopes it makes you laugh.

My invitation to you: maybe you would also like to play with making up a song about your ego? 

I'm your producer. Give me everything you have and I will make it awesome, baby. Everything you've got. I can make you awesome, baby. 

You gotta give me what I want, what I'm craving. Baby, you could be someone good, someone famous. 

If I haven't been clear, let me be crystal clear. You could be something, but without me you're nothing. You're a diamond in the rough, but you need some roughing up. You've got a bit of stuff but it's not nearly enough. Sign with me, I'll make you be the awesome you that you could be! 

I'm your Producer. And I can make you awesome, baby.

You need some buffing up. Baby, let me shine you up. Yes, I will treat you rough, but rough is what will make you tough. Baby, I can make you shine like a diamond in the mine. Baby when I'm through with you, the world will lose its shit over you.

I'm your Producer. And I can make you awesome, baby.

Let me into all of you, let me live inside of you, let me tell you what to do, let me keep your light for you. Give me all your life force, let me tap it at the source, let me at the chalice, baby, give me access. Baby, don't you cut me off, you don't know what you're doing, you can't live without me, you need me like I need you, you can't exist without me, you need me like I need you too. 

I'm your Producer. I can make you awesome, baby.

~~

Thumbnail image reverently appropriated from Ruth Heller's The Reason for a Flower.