Ego's Dreams

Egos are structured around basic wounding. They’re a kind of psychic hack, a patch solution for old, unresolved problems.

Knowing what our ego wants (and seeing through that, what key core wounding the ego seems to be compensating for) helps bring it out of the shadow renegade role and into the role of constructive collaborator in one’s life.

My invitation to you today: check in with your ego & see how he/she/them/it/us is doing. What is it that your ego is really after? Maybe checking in with your ego will help it feel less like a troublemaker and more like someone or something interesting to know.

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Dear Ego,

If you could have 12 wishes come true, what would you wish for? I want to help you get what you want, if I can (assuming it’s all in balance with the larger good of life).

Love,

Holly Mae

Dear Holly Mae,

Thank you for asking me what I want. Here are my 12 wishes.

1. Someday, people notice how special, extraordinary, precious, unusual, and tender I actually am. I get fully seen, in a positive light.

2. Seen in that positive light, it turns out that I am generally considered both beautiful and impressive. (I know, you hate this one.)

3. People naturally and easily see the value of what I have to offer & there is a perfect flow of people (not too many, not too few) who want my services because of the benefit my work has for them.

4. I am clearly successful and everyone can see that. There is no lingering doubt in anyone’s mind (yours or anyone else’s), nothing like, “maybe she’s a loser” and the accompanying feelings of anxiety and embarrassment on my behalf.

5. Mom & Dad are impressed and finally give me respect, and say “Wow, I really underestimated you!”

6. I am a creator worth reckoning with. Someone like Björk, Brahms, or Joni Mitchell. (I know - you hate this one even more than number #2.)

7. I am respectable, there is nothing embarrassing or shameful about me, nothing to make me cringe, shuffle, break eye contact, hide away.

8. I walk tall, with my head held high, nothing to hide. Like “This is me, so what?”

9. I feel that even though I’m an imperfect human process, and I may or may not ever manifest the potential mentioned in #6, I deserve to belong and I am good enough, and nothing I do or don’t do could ever change that. And I don’t EVER have to prove it, to anyone. Period.

10. Because of #9, I can maintain full connection with others wholeheartedly, feeling that I’m worth paying attention to, being around.

11. Even though I have a healthy discernment for what can be improved, what’s out of alignment, what isn’t quite fully awesome yet, I feel like I am pretty wonderful, overall.

12. Because I’m basically pretty cool, I feel relaxed, secure and safe.

I hope that helps clarify my deepest, most ardent desires.

Respectfully,

Your Ego

Embarrassing, of course. Egos tend to be. That’s why many of us pretend we’re beyond them, because we’re so, like, evolved.

:)

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Thumbnail image lovingly appropriated from Wild Swans, by Hans Christian Andersen, translated by Naomi Lewis, and illustrated by Anne Yvonne Gilbert