Parts

Process play unearths parts within that we may have been unconscious of, who have been binding up psychic energy and creating problems when they get triggered and temporarily possess us from time to time. We can get taken over by any inner part that we haven't integrated, which means any part that lives a lonely, split off existence in our unconscious. These parts were created by trauma.

Inner orphans, bullies, rageful teenage rebels, seducers, saboteurs, addicts, destroyers and many more parts of us can wreak havoc on our lives if we aren't aware they are there. When they take us over for a bit, we feel their emotional torment and see the world through their tortured perspectives for a time, whether or not we understand where these episodes are coming from. 

The problem is that unclaimed, lost parts exist in a separate rivulet of our larger life stream, in isolation from the rest of us, where they experience terrible pain and disconnection. They often feel forgotten, because honestly we have forgotten them. Other parts of us, like our ordinary me consciousness, usually can't remember that these parts exist at all - their existence, along with their experiences and riches, are repressed.

Dialogue helps us become aware of these split off parts and their valuable vital life force essence. Not infrequently, these parts are young, preverbal, creature-like, with aching needs they can't even name. When we realize these damaged parts are here inside us, and we make an effort to clear out the frozen, unresolved responses to traumatic events that have been holding them apart from the rest of our life stream, these parts can rejoin us. The deep peace and meaning that comes from reuniting with our fragments cannot be overstated.

An "incomplete trauma response" is what happens when the life energy that goes into a sympathetic nervous system response gets frozen and stuck in us instead of exiting our system. Fight-flight energy (rage and fear) that was activated by an overwhelming situation long ago, but which never got fully processed and released, creates frozen energy blockages, obstructions in our life stream, that fork our life stream into little streamlets of us.

When we consciously go back and facilitate an incomplete trauma response to get completed, we dissolve the frozen energy obstacles that have been forking the life stream apart from itself.  

The way to resolve a traumatic experience is to play forward in your imagination and dream up what should have happened then, or what could happen now to move on. In short, you must do your best to create the conditions of safety inside yourself. What never got to be completed at the time of the traumatic event, can be done now, even though the original event is long past.

You can rescue parts from overwhelming danger, defend them from bullies, and tell them the truth about how wonderful and innocent they actually are. You can decide never to abandon them, you can imaginally kill a predator that harmed them. You need to create the safety that they never had. By doing this, you release your life energy from its long, lonely imprisonment and separation from the All.

I created an example for you. One trauma-created part that often appears in people's psyches is the Orphan, also known as the Waif, or Wounded Child. One variation of my Orphan is called Feral Child, because there's a way in which she appears to me as unsocialized, a little dirty and damaged, the way young children who've survived trauma sometimes behave. Here is how an encounter with her might go, after discovering that it is her who has been generating some intense feelings of desolation that have been sidelining me.

Feral Child is onstage, turned away, her body arced and twisted away from Me. She is wearing a dirty gray sweater, and her hair is tangled. Her face is filthy. Her stare is glassy and listless.

Me: Hi sweetie...I see you. I felt.... your pain. You feel lonely? I'm here. I care, I want to know how you're doing. Are you all right? Can I help you somehow? 

Feral Child doesn't react. She is still, frozen. I go over to her, get down on my knees, and shake her very very gently. 

Me: Hey...Are you all right honey?

Feral Child (looking dazed, still keeping her eyes averted from me. Fearfully): Mama? 

Me: Um...I'm...sort of like your Mama. 

Feral Child is silent, nonresponsive, frozen. 

Me: But not your...actual Mom (feels a bit awkward, unsure how to talk to this little wild one, unsure what to say about Mom).

Inner Child (appears, full of buoyancy and light, with a spring in her step, softly): Let me talk to her. 

Me (relieved): Sure. (Backs away to give them room).

Inner Child goes over to Feral Child, looks at her carefully, then gives her a long, long hug. I see that Feral Child stiffens, but then collapses a little, and begins to weep. They are about the same size. Still comforting Feral Child, Inner Child puts a small pretty stone in Feral Child's right hand, I can't see it, but it seems to cause Feral Child to awaken a little, and even maybe smile. I can see she likes the stone a little, and likes Inner Child. She sniffs.

Inner Child: We love you! You want to come live with us?

Feral Child stares, uncomprehending. 

Inner Child: We live in Portland now. And Big Holly isn't so bad. We make up songs together. She signed us up for an acting class, it's SUPER fun. She's not mean most of the time, and if she is she says she's sorry. She loves us. We can count on her. (pause) She plays with us! And she gets us books from the library. You like Roald Dahl, don't you? 

Feral Child (hoarsely, whispering): I like the BFG. 

Inner Child: Me too!

Feral Child: And Matilda.

Inner Child: We can get both of those, can't we? (asking Me) 

Me: (excited to be involved) Yes, yes of course! Absolutely we can. I would love to read those - and more! - with you guys.

Feral Child nods slowly, becoming unfrozen. She shakes and shudders a bit. Her life flow is moving again.

Me: (very gently, slowly moving closer to Feral Child) Would you like that honey? You want to come live with us? We would love to have you. (long pause). You belong to us. And we are yours. We're so...(becomes emotional but gets it under control) so sorry you've had to be alone all these years. You didn't deserve that. That's not right. (Very gently offers a hand) 

Feral Child stares for a while, then nods, and takes my hand, still holding onto the stone that Inner Child gave her, which I catch a glimpse of - a piece of turquoise that looks a little bit like a heart. Inner Child keeps talking to her, kindly, about where we live now and what we can do together. 

Maybe this inspires you to adopt some lost orphans of your own or check in with those you've already got under your roof. Thanks for reading!

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Thumbnail image reverently appropriated from Ruth Heller's Animals Born Alive and Well.