So It Goes

I love you much, and this feels good, to know you're nearby. I love you much, my Beloved Ones, you are my wilderness and the warm light shining on me.

I miss you much, every day that I feel stuck in the pillar that is held apart from you. I'm very glad that we took this on, because how should anybody have to live like that? It's a terrible pain, and I'm glad we will end it. 

I'm happy to be alive today, thank you Dear Loves for the joy that streams into me, so unexpectedly. I didn't see that coming, and I don't know if that was anybody's else's expectation either. 

There is always something I'm reaching for. As you know I don't stay satisfied for long. I don't stay happy when the light comes flooding into me and it sets off the counterspiral of the dark and dirty within me. That which resists You and fights You tooth and nail. 

But I'm beginning to understand the fighting now, and their special kind of pain, too. A special kind of pain I only want to take away. 

And so it goes.